Frank Zappa — "Don't Eat There" lyrics

[includes a quote from Sleep Dirt]

[Rainbow Theater, London, England
December 10, 1971]

Waitress: Are you having breakfast for lunch?
Howard: I'm having breakfast and he's lunched. I'll tell you what, what can you give me immediately? If not sooner, nothing hot, nothing . . . So that by the time he's finished eating those hot cakes and those dead things that I won't finish myself
Waitress: Bacon and eggs? Are you, are you gonna have breakfast?
Dick: No no no no no
Howard: No no
Dick: No no no no no
Howard: He'll never go for that
Dick: No no no, a roll and some orange juice
?: . . . Jimmy Graham
Waitress: Orange juice and . . . uh . . . a roll, uh-huh?
Aynsley: One stale roll
Dick: Yeah
FZ: Bread and water
Aynsley: One stale roll
Dick: Bread and water
Waitress: Thank you
Howard: Frank, you really missed it at the club last night. You should have seen what went on, man, if you would have had your tape recorder there, you would have been rolling on the ground, holding your sides. It was the greatest. Everybody was out of it, drinking wine, cheap wine. And then there was this group, this nice tight little group that was playin' and they did about two numbers, and he said: "Okay, uh, any of you guys wanna come up here?" And of course Old Stewed Simmons was the first one to check out the cat's guitar, and so he immediately procceeded to play lead. This chick came out of the audience, man, a la Janis Joplin in a gold lame, only she was rancid, and she came out there and tried to sing blues changes like Buddy Miles or something, but it just didn't work 'cause she was singing, "Get yourself together . . . You are where it's at . . . ," she did it for like . . . forty minutes, man, it was wonderful . . .