Frank Zappa — Soft-Sell Conclusion lyrics

[includes quotes from God Bless America (Irving Berlin), America The Beautiful (Ward/Bates), Marine's Hymn (trad.) and A Soldier's Tale (Stravinsky)]

A lot of people don't bother about their friends in the VEGETABLE KINGDOM. They think, "Ah, what can I say? What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?" But the answer is simple, my friends . . . just call . . . and tell them how you feel . . . about MUFFINS, PUMPKINS, WAX PAPER, CALEDONIA, MAHOGANIES, ELBOWS AND GREEN THINGS IN GENERAL . . . and soon: A NEW RAPPORT! You and your new little green & yellow buddies . . . grooving together! OH NO! Maintaining your coolness together! Worshipping together in the church of your choice! ONLY IN AMERICA! Woh-oh-oh-ah-agh-h . . .

Call any vegetable
Call it by name
You gotta call one today
When you get off the train
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
AR-R-H-R that the vegetable
Will respond to you...
OH NO! Can you see them responding?
The PUMPKIN is breathing hard:

HUFFA PUFFA HUFFA PUFFA etc.
what a pumpkin . . .